IT'S BEEN A YEAR

Wow it's been a year since I turned 30, and since I went through the month of rituals that took me on such an in depth investigation of myself. This year for my birthday I went to Vegas for my friend Erin's wedding. It was incredible to get a way and although there was some running around and activities to do, I enjoyed the time where I spent with myself. Those moments are so rare now and it was a good reminder that I do indeed like my own company and to take time away to spend with myself. I got a massage in for my birthday, haha that might be my birthday ritual as I went to the spa on my birthday the year before. Anyways, there was one ritual that I thought that I would keep with. This one was initially recommended by my friend Jessica and involves writing a letter to yourself for your next year's birthday. So on my birthday I was the first one to wish myself a happy birthday.

I'd like to share what I wrote:
Happy 31st!
It's been a year. I wonder where you are right now. Is everything familiar or would I not recognize the life you have now? At 29 and almost 30 I am really happy with my life right now. Sure some things are up in the air still. I am hoping for a job in my field, the stipend is starting to wind down. July 21st is when supposedly that's it, presto! supposed to have a job. I have faith in you though that you can do it. You have the determination and the passion. You probably will laugh when you read this having found some place or something that makes you feel happy and fulfilled. I hope so. I hope that you don't ever let any self doubt ever stop you. You have it all inside of you, you just have to own it. I think the desire to want to help others is more important then skill. That can be developed over time but the real drive to want to help and the compassion cannot be bought. I hope that you have found a regular rhythm for your self, been able to integrate things that you love into your life. Its so easy to get caught up in the every day and forget about what you love. Right now Brian and I are so in love. Remember that is what is important is the two of you. Nothing could be more important. Don't let anything could that. It might just be a year from now until my 31st but every year has already brought so much change. No doubt another year will be the same. I think we are starting off with a good beginning. I am celebrating turning 30 and embracing it totally. Thought it was funny that someone at work was surprised that I had written I am turning 30! on the top of the flier. I actually at first didn't understand why I should be upset I am turning 30. I am grateful for everything I have received and accomplished before 30. Why shouldn't I celebrate it? So what do I hop for myself in a year from now? Just to continue to realize what is really important: friends,family, purpose. Purpose and career come third. I hope that you have gained more self confidence and assurance. You have done some much already that I am proud of. Keep up the good work!

Love Tessa (Your 29/almost 30 self) :)


-Response: It was really amazing to read this and see where I am now. I do have a job in the field now, working out of a psychiatric hospital where I am obtaining soo much knowledge. I am not receiving hours right now but soo much experience. Hoping to get this internship in Burbank and start seeing clients in August. I am integrating things/activities that I enjoy back into my life. I see my friends more often, go out, participate in planning events, etc. Something as simple as filling up my ipod, listening to music. I didn't have time to do that before when I was finishing school. There is one line in the letter that really helps me, "I think the desire to want to help others is more important then skill. That can be developed over time but the real drive to want to help and the compassion cannot be bought." Often times I psych myself out and this helps me to be comfortable where I am currently.

So I wrote another letter to myself which I will open when I turn 32. Looking forward to learning more from myself :)