Ritual 3 - Reflection

4/26/09
Wow did Shannon put me to work on this one. The ritual consists of lots of writing/reflection exercises. I ended up writing by the pool where I live which is a very peaceful place where I spend a lot of my free time.

From my journal:
Today I am sitting in my courtyard near the pool. I like it out here. I can hear the sounds of the neighborhood but also the sound of the birds in the trees and fleeting around the flowers. I spend a lot of time out here in the warmer weather. In the heat of the summer I spend hours in the pool, reading with my towel out so I can stand in the pool leaning over the side.

30 things I am grateful for:
1) Health - For myself and others
2) Love
3) Friendship
4) A passion/purpose in my life
5) Time off
6) The honor of being part/impacting other people's lives in some small way
7) A beautiful clear morning, a fresh start
8) The air in my lungs
9) I live in a country where I can express my beliefs openly and without any fear
10) I'm free to express myself the way I feel comfortable with
11) How I feel after a good yoga class/workout.
12) My marriage with my hubbie
13) A good nights sleep - don't knock it :)
14) A beautiful view after putting all the effort in to reaching the summit
15) Financial stability
16) Good nutritious food that energizes my body.
17) My connection to every other living being. I'll never be truly alone in the world.
18) Being home to visit, see my friends and family for the holidays.
19) Seeing miracles unfold around me. Having the wherewithal to pay attention and be aware of all the special moments.
20) For people that see that life is bigger then just them and give back.
21) Being part of a greater whole.purspose
22) Jamming to a really good song and just being in the groove.
23) Being able to dance deliriously until I am the music.
24) Finding a spiritual community
25) Building/Having a home where I can be restored (Kitties and Brian)
26) Opportunity to travel out of my own small world and go on adventures.
27) Change - Even though extremely uncomfortable at times, change make me challenge myself even beyond where I think my limits are.
28) Having a quiet place inside me that I find in meditation etc where I am connected to my true self.
29) Having ways to communicate and stay in contact with friends and family even though so far away.
30) Memories - It means so much to me to reflect back on my life and remembering all the sig. moments in my life.

30 things that I have accomplished
1) My education - I feel pretty good about my education. I graduated with honors from high school, cum laude and so close to getting magna from college, and graduated grad school before turning 30.
2) Got through my traineeship at Tarzana Treatment Center! I can survive anything!
3) Got awarded a stipend through LA County DMH, now just have to get a job. :)
4) Moved successfully across the country and still doing great 3 years later. Brian and I both have good jobs and a good network of friends.
5) Completed a 2 week survival course in Maine when I was 17 years old.
6) Have had poetry published
7) Got a soccer scholarship
8) Have a really wonderful understanding husband and wonderful marriage
9) Worked with/mentored teens affected with adoption with art/theatre therapy. Put on a play. It feels like an accomplishment because it was a parrallel process and encouraged me to work through some of my own stuff as I am adopted.
10) I was a camp counselor at this Girl Scout camp in MA. I got awarded a recognition for creativity and they were impressed with my work with the theatre group that they offered me a position as a theatre director for the next year.
11) I've been inducted in 3 honor's societies. The Psych Honor's Society, Freshman's Honor's Society, and the National Honor's Society. Also got on Who's Who Among Students recognition.
12) In highschool I got the gold award for art. I didn't neccessarily draw better than others but got it because of my dedication. I would spend lunch periods hanging out in the art room finishing projects.
13) I am a good friend
14) I am a good sister
15) I am a good daughter
16) I am a good wife
17) Had like $8,000 saved before I went to college from all the work I did. I 've worked and saved since I was 12 years old.
18) I went to sailing school. I acutally got to sail the boat Kevin Kostern did in the movie No Way Out. I have survived sailing through more than one terrible storm.
19) I've danced since I was 4 and think I am a good dancer
20) I got up the guts to go paraisailing in Martha's Vineyard with my friend Andrea
21) Danced a whole recital with a sprained ankle. Some of the dances were on pointe. Don't know if this was amazing or just stupid.
22) Canoyed on Class IV rapids
23) Have my Reiki II in the Usui Method
24) I have gained a greater confidence/belief in myself. When I am being hard on myself I look back at a time when I was so shy that I was afriad to order a pizza on the phone. Everything that I have achieved since then seems such a significant shift that I can give myself more patience and understanding.
25) I feel that I have had some positive impact on the people around me and the world through my actions as an activist, volunteer, therapist, social worker.
26) I try to be earth conscious even though it is inconvenient at times. I use energy efficient bulbs, reusable bags, reusable water bottle, recycle everythign I can, conserve my water, buy in season and organic.
27) I think I was a brave little girl who although had a lot of bad things happen early in my life still maintained an open heart and was willing to give and receive love.
28) I stay true to who I am. ALthough this has not been always met with postiive reactions. I don't play into games, I am just real. I remember a friend of a friend came up to me once in high school and told me that he really respected me because I didn't give in to the pressure to be in one group or another. He said that he didn't know what category to put me in. That was one of the best compliments I have ever been given.
29) I paid off my car which is only 5 years old!
30) Think I am pretty well read. I love reading and think I have a good bank of knowledge along with my very inquisitive mind.

30 Things I want to accomplish
1) Become more confidant and knowledgable in my abilities as a therapist.
2) Integrate more holistic principles/somatic forms into my practice.
3) Become a Jungian analyst.
4) Become a mother - Not right now but I feel like that is the one experience being a mother will be truly amazing and transformative. I look forward to it but perhaps a few years from now.
5) Have a home - either a condo/house hopefully in the next few years.
6) Get a job with the stipend!
7) Get certified in somatic therapy.
8) Become a yoga instructor
9) Perhaps study Thai Massage/Phoenix Rising/Alexander Technique
10) Integrate more dance in my life. Has become harder but dance is life for me.
11) Maintain friendships and relationships in my life.
12) Open a wellness center
13) Maintain a good, open, mutually understanding marriage.
14) Stay active/good shape/good health
15) Keep working and living my passion and purpose
16) Buy a hybrid or electric car.
17)Want to be respected and known in my chosen field but not famous.
18) Feel very comfortable with who I am, more at ease.
19) Become more organized in my life, less chaos.
20) Go traveling!! Feel like I haven't really gotten to see the world. Places that I would like to see would be:
Thailand
Africa
Egypt
Hawaii
India
Costa Rica
Australia
Tour Europe - England, France, Spain, Germany, Ireland, Scotland
21) Write a book one day r/t my experience as a clinician. Insights or possible a new approach that I might develop.
22) Be able to teach
23) Run workshops
24) Have a dog - share this one with Brian :)
25) Be financially stable/comfortable
26) Get a tattoo - my lotus flower
27) Continue to be there for my friends and family through the good times and bad.
28) Become a better artist
29) Become more involved with activism worldwide
30) Finally beat a video game on my own. I finished one called Sanatarium but Brian helped some.

Shannon has me writing about 30 people that have impacted my life and how I have impacted their lives. After a few hours writing and only getting to number 6 I started on some of the other exercises. I will take some additional time to write up these so I can put enough thought and feeling that they need.
I will post the rest later............I'm tired :)